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Satins rides again

Always Be Around is Tory Satins’s first new recording in over 30 years

Feb 02, 2019

Fictional singer-songwriter Tory Satins today emerged from a decades-long hiatus to announce the release of “Always Be Around,” his first new single in over thirty years.

The song is from Satins’s upcoming LP “Flowers of My Youth,” scheduled for release later this year on the Ueno label, pending the outcome of a crowdfunding campaign organized by what remains of the faded minstrel’s fan club.

A formerly ubiquitous presence in pop culture, Satins's string of classic albums over four decades includes such classics as “Secretly Loving It,” “Big Banana,” “The Rings of Satins,” and “Nights with T. Satins.”

Having crooned his way through the fifties, puffed his way through the sixties and snorted his way through the seventies, Satins disappeared in a cloud of vaporized mineral oil, propylene glycol and water on the dancefloor of Studio 54 on the very night ABBA announced they were reversing the first B in their logo.

The reclusive and ornery warbler was not seen again in public until this morning, when he materialized at a press conference at Ueno’s offices in San Francisco.

A former child star of stage and local television, Satins has during his years in exile acquired a grizzly patina of age, probably produced by oxidation over a long period. His physical presence remains strong, amplified by a pungent odour of stale beer and jazz cigarettes.

Looking surprisingly spry, Satins spoke coherently about his comeback to a room half-full of confused people he had been told were journalists. “It’s about pain in many ways,” Satins said, presumably about his new album, and snapped his fingers at an intern. “Get me a Campari, will you?”

Mr. Satins, what have you been up to since you disappeared in the early 80s?

First of all, I didn’t disappear. And second of all, no one “discovered” me. I discovered myself. All this to say, in the 80s I discovered myself working at a one hour photo kiosk in a strip mall parking lot. It was methodical, pensive, rewarding work.

What made you decide to dip your toes back in the pool of popular music?

I never meant to make anything “popular,” as you say. I’d never intentionally do anything that vulgar. If people like what I do, that’s their problem. But to answer your question, I’d recently been let go from a gig, and needed the money. I think I only got $50 for the whole thing. And it wasn’t really dipping my toes, as you say. I was pushed in. And it was the shallow end. All this to say, Ueno made me do it.

Is it true that the original lyrics to “Always Be Around“ were much darker, and that the “suits” at Ueno strong-armed you into toning it down?

Some people don’t like the honest truth. Especially when they’re paying you to make propaganda. I’m not saying that was the case here. I’m just saying, well, look at what happened to Galileo.

How has the environment for recording artists changed since you first came on the scene?

The environment for recording artists is exactly the same as it is for normal people. It’s gotten worse. And if we don’t take steps to reverse climate change people won’t even be able to record music, much less listen to it. The wax cylinders (or whatever they record on now) would just melt.

What does the future hold for Tory Satins?

This interview has become tiresome. Can somebody get me a drink?

 
Tory Satins: Always Be Around